Sometimes there’s nothing better than gloating at the misfortune and ridiculous antics of your favorite celebs, especially when they’re calling one another out in Hatfield and McCoy fashion. While there might not be any mud wrestling, there’s plenty of mud-slinging in these ridiculous celebrity feuds.
Kanye West and Taylor Swift
Who can forget Kanye’s dick move at the Grammy’s when he stole country cutie Taylor’s winning moment. The ensuing back-and-forth between the two was tabloid fodder for weeks. Taylor’s musical response at the VMAs through her song, “Innocent,” was spot-on. While Kanye Tweeted an apology, everyone knows that that’s just one step from breaking up with your girl via post-it.
WINNER: Taylor – duh!
Joan Rivers and Chelsea Handler
Joan and Chelsea have a lot in common: they both like to insult pretty much everyone for pretty much everything, they both like to swear and refer to their lady-bits a whole lot, and they both hate some other blonde comedienne calling them out and dissing their Hollywood humor cred. The feud, which started after back-to-back interviews with Howard Stern, is more high school than hilarious. Their hatred betrays a little too much, though. I think their snarky and downright mean-spirited taunts betray a secret longing that each is too afraid to acknowledge. Chelsea’s “Joan Rivers? What the f**k do I care about Joan Rivers? … I don’t think about her ever” was a weak retort with no creative use of acerbic wit. Joan’s response, however, is even more disappointing. “Number one, the girl made it on her back f**king the president, we all know that, of the network. Number two, she’s fine, she’s ordinary. She’s not a genius.” Joan went on to call Chelsea a drunk and threaten, “…don’t you come after me, you whore.”
WINNER: While I think they’re both losers for not giving us a better show, I have to give this one to Chelsea, which shocks me more than anyone. Joan not only went too far, but made the even more egregious mistake of not making it funny. For shame, Joan!
Shia LeBouf and Frankie Muniz
These two little cuties apparently know how to bring out the ugly in one another and have been doing so for over a dozen years. No one really knows what got this hate-fest started, but Shia seems committed to keeping it alive. Just after “Wall Street 2” came out, Shia just couldn’t resist getting in one more jab. During a radio interview, Shia was asked how he felt about being such a big star, after “Wall Street 2” became the sixth LeBouf vehicle to go straight to number one. Shia’s response was targeted at his longtime frenemy, “While that’s flattering as hell, you could have put Frankie Muniz into any of the movies I’ve been in and those movies would’ve still been No. 1,” he said. Unable to resist, Frankie took to Twitter saying ““Dear Shia LaBeouf, It’s getting creepy the fact that you can’t stop talking about me. It’s been 12 years now. I don’t know you. Thanks.” For me, Freddie’s response made a whole lot more sense than Shia’s weird reference to the former “Malcom in the Middle” star and showed Frankie to be the, um, bigger man after all.
WINNER: Frankie – I loves me some Shia, but I’m with Muniz on this one. It is creepy. Stop already!
Denise Richards and Heather Locklear
From BFFS to “Bitch, no you di’nt!” these beauties fell out after Denise moved in on Heather’s ex, Richie Sambora. So not cool, Denise! But, I kind of have to say shame on Heather for befriending the lush-lipped and ample-bosomed star in the first place. After all we know that Denise’s judgment is shit – she did marry (and procreate with) Charlie Sheen. Still, Denise broke a cardinal rule of friendship – no picking up your bestie’s leftovers.
WINNER: Heather – moving in on your best girlfriends’ ex is always a no-no.
Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields
These former pals took it to the mat regarding anti-depressants. The diminutive Scientologist action star called out the former Calvin Klein model for seeking pharmacological help to deal with her postpartum depression. Tom, who has never given birth, thinks that nothing should come between Brooke and her depression, even if it is FDA-approved and could keep her from drowning her baby in the bathtub. Tirades were exchanged, letters were written and eventually a denouement was reached when the two baby-bumped into each other in the maternity ward. It seems that the serendipitous timing of their bambinos births (and a profuse apology from Tom) was all it took for these two to kiss and make up.
WINNER: My name-twin, Brooke – no man (I don’t care if you are Tom Cruise) has a right to dis a woman’s mental health choices, especially when L. Ron Hubbard is the reason you’re depriving someone of potentially life-saving meds.