With Halloween just around the corner, everyone’s trying to figure out what they want to be for the festivities. But in the midst of the black-and-orange frenzy, my deviant mind has wandered to which movie monsters I’d most like to date. Fortunately for you, I’ve put together a definitive list of killer Hollywood fiends that make you go weak in the knees and leave us all screaming for more. Here’s the big screen baddies I’d love to hook up with this Halloween.
First of all, he’s loaded – and he’s one of those guys that you know for sure isn’t just another pretty face. The Beast from “Beauty and the Beast” is handsome as hell underneath and the bonus is that you know he’s not gonna be a dog, because otherwise he’ll be stuck looking like one.
Let’s face it ladies – he’s the most avant-garde, revolutionary urban planner we’ve ever seen. That kind of genius is oh-so-sexy.
I’ll tell you who I want to drink my blood – Dracula as played by Gary Oldman in the 1992 Coppola take on the vampire legend. Yes, he has his less attractive moments, but when he’s in London in that gorgeous waistcoat, hat and unforgettable purple specs – you know you’d be no more powerful to resist his un-dead charms than Winona Ryder was as poor, lust-filled Mina Murray.
Stay Puft Marshmallow Man
Talk about a man who can fulfill many desires. Not only is the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from “Ghostbusters” a sailor, but he’s the perfect fella to snuggle up to – especially if you’re in the mood for some sweet nothings. This cuddly giant of a man tends to have a temper but I’m sure that as long as there’s no Armageddon-like vibe in the air, he’ll remain as sugary and gooey and deliciously satisfying as a perfectly roasted marshmallow at a romantic campfire.
Don’t judge him because he’s different. This furry fella is a hopeless romantic and his loyalty goes to extremes. If you’re looking for devotion and a whole lot of appreciation for just not screaming and running away (not to mention attacking him with aerial assaults) then this might be the perfect match for you this Halloween. He’s the kind of guy who will hold on to you and never let go.
He wears a motorcycle jacket and lives under your bed – nothing like a little monster with agoraphobia to bring on the lovin’. Howie Mandel in “Little Monsters” is the fantasy guy that every teenage girl with a vendetta against her parents wants to bring home for dinner. I wonder if he’s available this Thanksgiving?
Despite the whole Goth thing, this fella is quirky, charming, sweet – and he can do a hell of a job with your hair. Even if he wasn’t embodied by the delectable Johnny Depp, I’d definitely let this edgy cutie buy me a soda.
Because a monster’s supposed to be scary and he’s really good at his job. We’re talkin’ uber-successful, ladies!
Which Hollywood monster would you like to cuddle up with?